January 2009
14 posts
What's with all?
[youtube link]
Daniel: dangit i can't watch here
THEY'RE ALL WATCHING ME
me: ok
Daniel: they're all talking about me
"who's that random guy"
"what's his deal"
"he drank a lot of tea today"
"and consequently went to the bathroom a lot"
"who IS he"
me: "YOU'RE ALL GOONS!" —Danny Bowman, at the end of the day
Daniel: "PEACE OUT GOONS"
me: "YOU ALL CAN GO BACK TO BEATING YOUR JIMMERJAMMERS"
Daniel: ::runs for the door:: ::elevator takes an awkwardly long time to arrive::
Daniel: what's with all our impromptu scene writing lately?
me: whoa, I hadn't noticed
Daniel: guess it's the latent screenplay we have to write together bubbling forth like vomit from a cackling baby
me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaewwwwwwwwww
now I'm puking
The Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built →
“STEP 10 - The Sausage Blimp
At any major sporting event, a blimp shows up. In this case it’s a 20 ounce summer sausage, that’s shaped like a football. It doesn’t float, we just took out the wire in photoshop, so don’t get freaked out.”
Page 35
brooklynhunkering:
The fact remains that getting people right is not what living is all about anyway. It’s getting them wrong that is living, getting them wrong and wrong and wrong and then, on careful reconsideration, getting them wrong again. That’s how we know we’re alive: we’re wrong. Maybe the best thing would be to forget being right or wrong about people and just go along for the ride....
Space Battle 3041: For When You Are Bored at Work
me: :D I hear ya
(man, I've been saying that a LOT lately)
(both that and "I feel ya")
Daniel: hahaha
sensory overload
feelin' and hearin'
me: system shock
structural damage reported
main cabin breached
I WANT TO BE ON A SPACE SHIP SO BAD
Daniel: structural integrity failing
shields up
shields at 10%
warp core breach
me: oh shit!
we're leaking oxygen, boys
we're gonna have to eject the auxiliary shuttle
Daniel: no! that's where i am!
me: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE RETURN JOURNEY
we might have to face the possibility that there won't be a return journey
mission critical
GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, DANNY
this mother's gonna blow
Daniel: i've run into some trouble
there's debris in my way
i'll have to take the service tunnel to the bridge
me: oh shit
flush the capacitor
Daniel: but that'll drain our ion optimizer
and without that, we're toast
me: WELL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
SAVE THE SEEDLING
or this whole thing will be for naught
Daniel: i've got a plan
if we reverse the polarity of the dilithium field, we can create a temporal anomaly which should contain the warp core
but it's risky
me: my mentor once had to execute a similar maneuver and he was never heard from again
but this ship has been through many trials!
and yet, here it is
still choogling along
...let's do it.
Daniel: we're out of options
it's our only hope
me: but danny!
before you pull the lever...
it's been my life's honor and a privilege working alongside you.
Daniel: likewise
a pleasure serving on board the same vessel
me: ...
here we goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Daniel: ::pulls lever::
well
that was anticlimactic
me: you okay?
I'm okay
Daniel: i think so
we won't know for sure until we get to sick bay
me: what will we know then?
Daniel: if the polarization affected us in any way
we might have dilithium poisoning
the doctor will know
hopefully she's alright
me: you might have to perform the diagnostic yourself
the doctor and I had sort of an awkward sexual encounter in the leisure lab a few days ago
Daniel: interesting
well, the diagnostic is somewhat... private...
me: oh.
Daniel: could you step out of the pod please?
while i run this diagnostic?
me: sure thing
Daniel: thanks
: :diagnostic::
ok all done
we don't have time for you to run the diagnostic, we have a message from high command
me: what is it!
Daniel: it was routed to the pod directly. they caught me off guard. it was awkward
but
me: what about the dilithium???
Daniel: the message is that we have enemy ships in the neutral zone
me: so it's true
the worst HAS happened
Daniel: we need a full report on damage sustained during the warp core crisis
me: bad news
the warp core crisis rendered our fleet of probing robots fried
they are probing like mad now in bay 5
probing everything in sight
so we face 2 enemies, I'm afraid
both from without. and within.
we will either be taken out by enemies in the neutral zone, or probed to death by the probing robots
UNLESS we can seal off bay 5
perhaps the robots will probe each other to destruction and neutralize this threat
BUT, seal functions are manual
RUNNNNNNNNN
Daniel: oh no!
did they probe through the door??
me: let's hope not.
Daniel: maybe we can use them to our advantage
if we open the bay doors and release the probots into space near the enemy ships, they might have more on their hands than they can handle
it will at least serve as a distraction while we neutralize their defenses
with our ion and pulsar cannons
me: back at fleet academy, I participated in a special research program that studied the potential uses (and abuses) of dilithium
Daniel: i heard about that
i thought it was just a rumor
me: it's just occurring to me now, after all these years, that if we can somehow transmogrify the dilithium to its gaseous form, we might have a very wieldy weapon on our hands
between that and the ion and pulsar cannons...
Daniel: if we can harness the probots and your gas attack, i think we can drive the enemy ships back to their sector
me: if not obliterate them altogether!
Daniel: we'll have to route all non-essential system power to the transmogrifier
me: done
it might get cold in here
very cold.
Daniel: instruct the crew to take advantage of body heat
me: ATTENTION ALL CREW: COMMENCE BODY PILE NOW
Daniel: good work
we haven't checked on the probing robots in a while
i hope they haven't probed themselves out of commission yet
me: perhaps the cold is slowing them
it's possible
Daniel: no time to check now, we'll have to trust that they're still operational
the enemy ships are in sight!
me: my GOD!
Daniel: open the doors to bay 5!
me: there's so many of them!
Daniel: release the probots!
cut the chatter! focus people!
me: keep huddling!
me: grope if necessary
Daniel: begin your gassy explosion
: :gassy explosion::
Daniel: my lord
me: the COLORS
Daniel: and the SULFUROUS SMELLS
i didn't realize you were including those chemicals in the reaction
me: Good thing we are used to these smells, you and I
normal nostrils could not comprehend this stench
Daniel: that's true
well, it seems to be working
the probots are probing their ships like crazy
and the gas attack wiped out half their fleet
me: I see little explosions taking place all over their ships' seams
if sound could travel through space, we would hear their screams of disgust
Daniel: it would be a glorious chorus of suffering and despair
me: I feel pretty okay about this
Daniel: me too
me: maybe we can get the heat back on?
Daniel: oh, return system power to normal, yes
me: thank you
Daniel: though, delay the order to cease the man pile
i think it's just what the crew needs
me: as you wish
New Jersey Transit →
“He watched his figure to the pound. In covering Rogers’ daily routine...”
– 15 Reasons Mr. Rogers Was the Best Neighbor Ever
Frank: got any videos that i cant watch at work, but can at home?
me: I'll find you something http://www.watch-movies.net/
this should keep you occupied
Frank: give me a break
i was looking through that yesterday
me: AND THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lZR74Z1Cok
it's my favorite video on the internet
Frank: ive watched this already
me: what.
Frank: youve sent it to me before
me: ::cries::
I'm just gonna have to send you links to Mary Rambin's colonics now
that's all that's left on the internet
